Your message, read cold
Let's find out what your message says when you're not in the room.
You read your own message knowing everything you mean by it. Your market reads it cold, knowing nothing. Those are two different messages... and only one of them is doing the selling.
Right now, yours is making decisions about you before anyone ever reaches out. It decides who leans in and who keeps scrolling. And the right people, the ones who'd pay full price without blinking, are getting filtered out by a few lines you stopped looking at years ago.